No more rational pls!

My over rational had caused me lost a lot of things.
Because of my rationality, I left Matric. I wanted to be with them at there so much last time, but I know entering teaching college will make my future a more secure one and make my family happier. So I am here now, leading a secure but not-really-enjoyable life.
Because of my rationality, I rejected who I love last year. If I am brave enough and don’t think too much, we may be together. Even our relationship might not last long, but at least we had given each other a try.
Because of my rationality, I refused to go back home this week. Actually I miss home and my mummy so much!! But I know I won’t study at home, so I rather stuck myself in hostel.
Because of my rationality, I know what is the best for me. I know I have to study when exam is coming. I don’t like study and I don’t like compete with others. But I know study can make me score better, so I have to force myself in doing so.
Because of my rationality, I refuse to accept the iPhone given by mummy. I am so keen to that actually, but I know it is expensive and I am having my ww995 now, so I rejected her offer. I have to control my mind to stop dreaming of it.
See? I am such a rational girl! Some of my friends feel I’m cool enough because I can control my mind especially the ability of forcing my playful mind into study mode even I don’t like it. But, this rationality really drives me crazy. It may really make my life a beneficial one, but it is really not enjoyable as I have to force myself to do every single thing that I don’t even like. It is suffering! I hope I could stop being such a rational girl. :(

:D

Two more weeks to holidays!!! I am getting so excited and couldnt wait for even a second! *Still have to wait laaaar :(* Too bad. You know why? First of all, I can finally go to Singapore again. Though I go there quite often, the expectation is still there. I could visit the art gallery of Chen Rui Xian and I feel proud of it. And after that I can go my relative's house by my own. Hopefully I could meet up with yy and Karyne there. :)
Secondly, I could go for another calligraphy course in Pontian.
Thirdly and the one I am most looking forward is I can meet the guys I miss the Most!!! Tangent, Yunying, Jefferey, Happy and perhaps Cheow, Polim, Ewen and more more more. And also my besties AuntieWoonYee, DearCaroline, secondary fellas. I really couldnt wait to meet you all.....Argh!!! I had been waiting for their visiting and always look forward it since I left. I just too love every of them and they will never know how much I miss them until my dear complained and get jealous about it. :P I plan to bring my matric friends to visit my lovely hometown and try out all the delicious foods in Muar. *Dont disappoint me and say dont want to come at last pls, I am scared.* Happy happy!
Happy knowing each others for one year dy! Happy anniversary yea :D 9th of May, the day I went for KMPP and I will never forget.

PS: Happy Birthday to Yee Xien!!! All the Best in studies and stay sweet with Jx senior :)

bla bla bla ...

I am so bored right now!! My roomie and friends all went back as there are no lecturers tomorrow. Well, I actually did enjoy myself to be alone. But nobody to talk with is quite sad also :( What I could do is just online and doing my revision. I am so addicted to iPhone, I couldnt control myself to stop pressing the phone once five minutes. Aiks! *daddy, I want to have one too!!*
Exam is coming soon. 19th for Bc1 paper, 24, 25, 26 for Ks Pj and Bc2 papers. Gosh!! I havent touch my Pj and dont even know what it is all about. I had read most part fot my tedious Chinese but keep on forgetting. I tried to make myself falling love with all the old days poems. Pls the facts I had hardly memorise dont run away from my brain, at least stay after I finish sitting for the exam. And the exam days are all being squeezed in a week. I bet I would have three restless night during exam week. God bless me PLS! But once I think of we will finish our exam on Thursday and go for singing, my mood get better. Hope the Free day will be coming soon. All studies and no play make Jack a dull boy Ish -__-#
It had been a day I didnt receive your message. I am waiting but would you send me one?
LoL xD

happy (:

Yesterday hangout with min babe and wen babe. It had been at least half year since I last met them. We chat alot about kmpp. I couldnt cheat myself that I am still missing the life there and all my friends badly!! Min said if I never leave there, the story would definitely a totally different one. My babes would still be in the same gang with those guys but not as unfamiliar as now. I think maybe my F4 would be the best and closest kuliah. Maybe I would be happier. Maybe I will no more available. There is lotsa of maybe, but for sure I will be in a holiday now!! I never regret my choice if I think rationally. It really brings me benifit. Recall of what Jefferry mentioned in the letter he gave me, God has given me the chance to realise my dream but at the same time He rob the time to be with them. He is fair and I shouldnt complain. What I should do now is just study well for final and pray for the chance to meet them during my holidays. (:
Happy skype with Woonyee. The feeling of studying with besties have back, like Form four time. I am so happy! xD
I am happy because I get the dvd of kmpp cny concert. I am proud of they had been doing and touched by the performance! My friends are awesome! A big thank you to Teddy and Wen babe for handing me it ^^
Three more weeks to holidays ;)

有一个朋友听了我的身世，觉得我有些可怜，觉得也难怪我那么坚强那么独立。其实我并不可怜，一点也不！我的家庭不完整是因为我从小就没有母爱，但我很满足，我也不需要母爱，我有的是一箩来自姑姑的爱。是她们从小循循善诱地教导、不惜资本地栽培、劳心劳力地养育我。她们爱我，我爱她们。哪首儿歌唱道没有母亲的小孩会像杂草？我可活得好好的。我从来不因为没有母爱而自卑。小的时候会讨厌母亲这号人物，会避讳朋友在我面前提起“妈妈”两字。现在长大了明白了这只是所谓的无缘，朋友说妈妈，我说姑姑，不也一样么？都是抚育我们长大的伟大人物啊！
还有，我不坚强，我不独立。我只是个爱哭的孩子。我的骄傲只是为了武装心中那个懦弱的本色，不想轻易被看穿。
对我而言，3个姑姑就是我的再生妈妈。我得到的爱是3倍的。我爱你们。么么~

Another hangout with BC2

Though I promised myself no more hangout in BP before exam, still I hangout with my classmates yesterday to celebrate Ker Sing's oncoming 19th birthday. We hangout after the PJA lesson ended. Not to forget, we played kites, eagle catches chickens and slippers game during PJA lessons. They're fun!! :D

Again, we hangout in BP Mall and we had pizza as our dinner together. Our another class picha!!
Camwhoring session while waiting the coming of pizza...

The birthday girl - Ker Sing!

Then, Yee Xien, Sin Pin and me grabbed the last day of Sushi King RM2 Bozana promotion and had it!! You can know how much I addicted to sushi as this was my second time throughout the 4 days promotion period. I had 6 plates of sushi this time.

Sushi is Love. :)

All my favourite sushi and a MUST to have it everytime. I had them 2 plates each. Ha :P

Well, I still couldnt break my record last year which was 8 plates. After I satisfied with 6 plates sushi, we Ran back to pizza hut to have our set pizza which was ordered earlier. Salute to my big big stomach which could fill in 6 plates of sushi and 1 piece of pizza at once. *My friends' records were 14 plates sushi for guys and 13 plates sushi for girls* O.o

We continued to snap for more pichas after we finished our meal.With Yee Ching. Sometimes, she could be as serious and normal as this *Photo above*

But, MOST of the times, she is super crazy and her hobby is molesting us. :S

Her exaggerating emotion below xD

Pizza hut balloon given to Peh Yee by her handsome pizza waiter *I totally dont think that malay guy is good looking @@*

Ker Sing is the one holding the camera to take photo with me, but this is the outcome. She disappeared!! We bursted out laughing when see this photo. LOL!

Good take with Sing. Suan suan kacau punye xP

With Sin Pin :)

Back to college at 8pm, considered not very late. Thanks Dr. Chong for kindly give us tumpang his car from gate to dorm. We save lotsa walking steps. Luckily I bathed immediately after I back. There was no more water supply around 9pm. Terrible!! Life without water supply sucks man!

At night, we gave the gift to Ker Sing. I could feel she is touched by the card and gift - The ugly Barnie. Haha x)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Girl!!! Dont ever look down at yourself anymore. Your height and beauty are what we keen so much but will never get. But, good result is what you can achieve if you put in more effort. Be more confidence and sure you can do it well. Gambateh together lo!! Muacks.... \^0^/

感触

有一个男生被一个女生拒绝后，在短短半年的时间吧？喜欢了另一个女孩儿。在一起了。好熟悉的故事。但，这次发生在我朋友身上。我很有感触。为什么总是有这种事情发生？又是谁的错？男生错在不该喜欢上女生。女生错在不应该拒绝男生才来后悔。也可能两方都没有错因为爱情本来就没有错。这就是永远遗憾的故事。但，我觉得更加遗憾的是，他们彼此少了一个朋友，一个曾经熟悉的陌生人。现在他们不能说话，就算想继续当朋友也会尴尬，就算想关心也没有立场，就算只是见到面都想躲避。人，总是矛盾。不会珍惜，错过才后悔。明明不舒服还是想确定别人在一起，甚至想看那一对走在一起，来折磨自己。心理变态啊？哈~~
我庆幸我们还是好朋友哦。:)

PINK sushi day :)

Sushi King RM2 Bozana day get started again!! Do you still remember how we fully enjoyed it last year? This time, we gonna join it again!!
http://appreciate-every-moments.blogspot.com/2010/10/dinner-time.html
We joined it on the second day of the promotion. We all rushed for it once we were informed that the Gerko class at 4pm was cancelled. Thanks Yee Xien for the car and Jx senior for fetching us out. We no need to walk out under the merciless afternoon sun. :P
We reached BP mall at around 5pm and we no need to queue up because there's less people eating in this moment. I could still remembered we queued up for half an hour last year! :O
Somehow, I couldnt break my last year record. I just ate 7 plates this time. And we didnt take much photo while eating. :(

With Yee Xien.

The girls in PINK :)
With Ker Sing.

With Peh Yee.
Camwhoring in washroom. We were wearing PINK!! :D

After sushi, we decided to go Square One for movie. I felt surprise of myself that I was willing to go out as the Final is actually coming. I promised myself this is my last outing before exam and I will start work hard the following day. *Yet, now I am still blogging* We watched the Singapore movie directed by Mark Lee, '鬼也笑Ghost Laughing'. So happy and surprise that ZC and Kevin came to cinema at last as they said they dont want to join us at first. Haha!! Personally think this movie was just so-so. But I nearly shed a tear for the first story when the Encik Muthu died. I found myself silly that I am so easily touched. I was touched because I felt Muthu the soldier is so pity, he cursed by people everytime and he didnt even know he died when he Really died. :"( Back to dorm at 10sth, super tired! And this is the time I regret because KS test was awaiting for me the next day. Gosh!!

The next day (which means today), I got my KS test. I felt it is not as difficult as I thought. The questions asked were all from the notes given. You can do it well if you study well before it. I got some question not very sure and I refered 2 of it from books. *Open book test, LOL!* At least after the test, I knew which part I gonna pay more effort on.

Today wasnt that good luck. I was caught by HEP teacher due to the short skirt I was wearing. Bul*Sh*t her! My skirt was reaching knee and still she wanna rampas my matric card. I wasnt stupid. I gave her many excuses that I hadnt pull it nicely as I just walked out from toilet, the skirt is elastic, bla bla bla...whatever I can think of. :P Lastly she freed me as I acted to be so ko-lian and promised I wont wear it anymore next time. Anyway, I was fucking mind that she used the word 'memalukan' to describe my wear. I seriously dont know what so memalukan? I didnt rob, didnt steal, didnt F**K, what so embarrasing? I feel sorry for her close-minded. -__-#

Well, gambateh for the final!! I am quite ready to switch on the study mode now after being lazy and lackadaisical for 2 days. YAY! :D

Recent

Making scrapbook for the Tanjung Piai trip. Successfully done it after a whole night from 7pm-12am!!! *Fainted* Somehow, I am satisfied with our group work! It is quite a nice one. Love it :)

Cooking. We didnt have any lessons last Wednesday. So, my friends, Yee Xien, Peh Yee and I baked a chocolate cake that day. I am so proud that I learnt the way to bake a cake. And also,
I cooked tonic soup that day and I gave some to the guys, this was my first time sharing what I cooked with the guys, luckily the comments wasnt bad. :) Yee Ching cooked the sweet patotoes soup too! I superb like it. Thanks :D Out of a day, I had tried 4 food in dorm. Full with satisfaction. Whee x)

I made spagetti and chocolate cake for my family too. ^^
-

This two days were such a BIG torture for me!!! I had my super period pain on Monday! My mind couldnt focus to what my lecturer taught coz it was just too PAIN! I was so coz I ate Baskin Robin, my favourite cold tapai and bubble tea during the weekend at home. :(( I promise I will control the times I consume icy thingy and cut off my favourite Cool Blog and Withery Milk Tea. *Sob* And on the following days, I got my PJ amali test! *I hate it* On Tuesday, we got olahraga test - Lari Pecut, Lontar Peluru and Lompat Jauh. I didnt do well. My first time trying in long jump failed! The examinar rise up the red flag which mean my jumping dibatalkan. Butterflies flying in my stomach. Luckily the second try passed. Hope the marks wont be too bad. And today is the day I scared the most. I got my 2.4km running test and ujian kecergasan. Actually I was quite satisfied with my marks in ujian kecergasan. My marks improved compared to the previous semester. I achieved 5 marks in pumping and I get a big applause from my classmates, I gained another 5 marks for sit up and stretching part too. YAY! xD But the jumping, 2.4km running and lari ulang-alik were terrible. I could just get 1 mark for each of them. :X It was raining when I was running. I was so lethargic. My body and my shirt were smelly afterwards!!! GOSH :O Somehow, It was all over now!

PS: Happy graduation to my matric friends! Wish you guys have a awesome holiday and an amazing U life welcoming ^^

After your call...

I picked up your call. I heard you crying. I felt really sad and shocked! I never know you are so suffer and stressful there. I always think that you social well with your new friends there and sometimes I did feel jealous that they are so lucky to have the chance to be in the same school with you, be your classmates and housemates. I hope I could be the same too. I always cry over the split milk and felt regret that I didn’t study well last time, and that’s why I couldn’t get JPA and study with you. But after your call, I am no longer having the same feelings. I felt relieve for where I am studying now. Becoming a teacher is my ambition since I was young, so I shouldn’t look down at it. I am on my way realizing my dream, too. I always complain and after your call I know I shouldn’t complain about my maktab life anymore because I truly feel how stressful your life is and my life is totally free. I got my busy assignment period too, but compare to your study life, I know mine is consider nothing. And, now I really feel I am so lucky to be at here though I got my problems too. I heard you crying, I feel like giving you a warm hug, tell you that I will always be with you and you are already the best. I comforted you whatever I can, I really hope you could be all right afterwards. God know I really keen to be with you, studying with you like we used to do last time. Lets do our best together, realizing our dream, my forever sista! :)

Trip to Tg. Piai

Woke up kinda early to have our trip to Tanjung Piai in Pontian. We were looking forward to this trip!

With Shin Phing before we started our journey. :D Going to take bus loo!

After a 2++ hours journey, we reached our destination. The sunshine was merciless! It was HAWT :O We took out our cap, umbrella to protest against the sun. Ha!

With Yee Xien.

With Roomie :D

I'll never walk alone.

The southern tip in Asia Tenggara.

with Jia Hao and Zc

with our ks lecturer - Pn. Yeoh and Pn. Noraini. :)

with the certificate we bought. Group 3 (Blue flower) and ks lecturers

8 of the members.

We back to hostel at 5pm sth. Damn tired!! We are going to do a scrapbook on it afterwards. Zzz

哭

我哭了。压抑在心中好久的情绪终于宣泄出来了。我真得很伤心。有种被排斥的感觉。他们总是在一起，我呢？我不希罕的。少1、2个朋友有什么了不起。我的世界还有大把人。就算全世界都讨厌我，我还有我自己。朋友不用多，真心的哪怕只有一个都够了。我真的受够了！从小到大，从来都是被拥护的。为什么来到这里会变成这样！我竭尽所能对别人好，煮东西、借东西，我有什么做错了！然而因为他们，我的自信心受损。很多时候，我会觉得自己是不是真的很坏，是不是身边的朋友都讨厌我，他们是不是只是表面地对我笑，他们会不会暗地里也再说我的坏话。好多好多~我的心已经无法符合，我觉得我快疯了，快人格分裂了。我给我自己的正面思想好像已经无法让自己重拾信心。很多时候，我因为自己的外表不敢与别人互动，导致越来越没有信心，越来越不勇敢。所以，每次我总是呆在宿舍，自己一个人，不想参人，因为只有那个时候我以自己为中心。我是不是真得很没有用？一点点小事只会哭。可是如果连哭都不能，我真的不知道自己还能怎么办。因为从小的自愿才会选择这条捷径，来到师训。结果上天的确是公平的，他给了我平坦的大道，却给我人性的真实考验。我想如果当初继续读matric升大学，或许路是难走些，但或许人际关系好过些，起码现在的我是开心些的。我真得很后悔。如果还在哪儿，我会很快乐，因为我pracmate都对我很好很好和归属感的gang。或许幻想都是美好的。我真得很想很想他们和我的兄弟姐妹，如果你们在我身边，我就不用暗自流泪，我就可以肆无忌惮地倒在你们怀里大哭一场。相信我，我快人格分裂了。快一年了，我还无法爱上这里。语言已经无法诠释我的想法。我的心很压抑很辛苦我很喘头很痛眼睛很酸，我期待在这一刻有人在我身边传递给我纸巾给我个拥抱告诉我我是他的好朋友肯定我的存在。。。 PS:谢谢mummy总会给我安慰，然而在这个地方有太多的说话顾忌，我好想家。你们说要来找我，我说不用，因为我不想给你们添麻烦，任凭我真的很想你们。眼角干了又湿，干了又湿，干了又湿，却无法放声哭喊好辛苦 T___T

Just some recent news...

This two days, I am kinda relax. The assignment period of Sem 2 is officially ended when the final work – Critical Thinking assignment is handed up. What a big relief for us! I am glad that I was able to complete all the 9-10 sets of assignment again. And this time, I was able to complete them on time, without any rushing and without staying late like what had happened in the previous semester. (Done my work at 4am O.o!) What I could do now is only praying for good marks. PLS!!! -/\- I spent my time watching ghost movie this two days and even plan to sing K with my classmates in the coming Friday. I am guilty and sorry because I have turned to become a playful girl. The exam is coming soon and yet, I am not paying attention in class, didnt do any revision and my mind is still overflooded with the thought of playing and relaxing. I should relax. All works and no play makes Jake a dull boy. I know. But the thought of relaxing seemed to be a lame excuse for me to be lazy. I could hardly forgive my lazy behaviour. PLS, jc, study pls! T__T PS: I cooked. I made ABC soup for my friends and my senior. I cooked porridge for my friend who is sick. I never know I know how to make yummy soup at home as I was a mama girl. And it was my first time cooking porridge in my life. I am happy x) PPS: I had tried lontar peluru and lompat jauh in today's PE lesson. I tried these games before in latihan sukan, but I never take them seriously. Everytime I was just simply done it to pass the latihan sukan and to get the attendence marks, so I was so so nervous when I knew all these games would be tested this semester. I am so worry! Luckily my lecturer said 'good' after I tried. I was damn surprised and excited!!! I would memorise the steps and hope I could perform well in the exam day. Now only I know the sports which held in pri and sec school is so important. IFF I take it and learn it seriously last time, I wouldnt face big problem today. :( PPPS: My leg get twisted again. It is so painful! Hope it will recover soon so that I wont cause my team to lose in the Futsal Competition next Tuesday. And I can do well in my PJ test. Wish my friends who are sick and injured recover soon too. :D PPPPS: Senior said my room is selected and would be visited by students from dunno-which-college. I will tidy up my room to be a better one. :) *Nervous*

TMK in PJ assignment is finally DONE!!! :D

After nearly two months, this assignment is finally done!! Our group did our presentation today. The marks is not really good, 3 marks less than others :( 'Coz the video couldnt be linked well and the marks are deducted. *Sob* Anyway, it is quite a awesome task. First time complete an assignment in this style.

Side view of 10 pieces of assignment from my class.

Nah!!! CD, but not for sale. :P

My mentor (and also my TMK lecturer for this sem), En. Zelkelpli and jC, with my product :)

He is a nice man. YO!! The one me and my group members done. Nice?

The end Product.

Two more assignments to be submitted within 1 week. Great!

Exam is coming soon............T.T