indefinable depress...

WARNING:

this post is all about my sad problems,please dont read it if you dont want to share my sorrowful.!

share the joy is double joy,share sorrow is half sorrow..that's why i write this post so that my sadness can be shared..

this few days,a lot of unpleasant incidents had happened to my family.so,now,everybody is very very worry with bad mood and all this really make me very very very depress!! ~.~there is a wedding in my neighbourhood,they seem like so happy;but just look at our family,all of us feel sad about ah gong's condition..ah gong had undergo operation and now his condition is quite stable but we are still worry.

haiz~why i need to encounter all these problem? 1,ah gong is sick 2,my uncle said he wants to move out after comes back from holiday(what a unresponsible responce?hate it!)

i really feel sad as i grow in a happy family since born and i really scare that my family will separate.i want my family all united and live happily.i am dying for happiness right now!!so,i act.i act to be happy and keep on smiling in front of everybody,but actually in my heart,i do feel sad and lonely as i paise to tell my friends and i think they are not very care about my feelings and some of them not even bother about it(some of you really do care me and thanks a lot).actually i only thirst for a place for me to complain and friends to lend me an ear to listen.or else,maybe i will be crazy someday if my mind is fulled with negative attitude and sarcastic comments...

suddenly i remember one of she's song 'bu xiang zhang da'.grow up is a beginning of sadness and worry..but i think i will just accept it and try to be cheerful when facing it ba as i think all the problems given by god is cabaran for us to gain experience..maybe god see our family members keep on co-operate with each other,so he gives us cabaran to try..maybe he see i live in happiness,so he is having green eye..i wont let him success to destroy my present happiness de,NEVER!so......what to do? keep on adding oil to be ecstatic and boisterous again ba...best wishes to myself,everything will be fine soon XD

all i wish for birthday.....

my birthday is just around the corner...hehehehe...actually got 1 moth more la...
actually i am quite greedy and i got a lot of wishes for my sweet sixteen birthday ^^
for wishes,i will just keep it in my heart...shhhhh~~
for presents,hahaha.....i want a whole lot of things ^^

1 ipod nano chromatic

ipod nano

english novels
(eg:twilight series......)










morgirl pencil box













that all what i want...hope that i am able to get them,haha XD
izit very greedy?? i think ok ba.......^^

endless sorrow

just came back from malacca..not from blissful shopping trip,but from makhota hospital.i went there to visit my ah-gong.he fall down yesterday in my dad's house.AND the most pathetic thing is his bone fractured ! !omg..can you imagine how serious it is?he is now 88 years old dy and it will be very difficult for his bone to grow again swiftly like us teen.so,he has to undergo operation.it is so pitiful !~.~
when i saw him just now..i really cry uncontrollably!because last time i saw him before he went to papa's house,he was still a healthy old man;but now...he lies on the sickbed and looked quite pale,his hand swelled because of some injections...i really really feel sad ~.~
now,i only can pray that his operation will be success and he can recover soon.......

武装的蝉儿

当四周漆黑一片，
当乌云笼罩着大地，
渺小的蝉儿什么也不懂，
蝉儿只能静静地呆在石缝中的一角，
暗自地掉泪，
诚心地祈祷，
蝉儿不论多伤心，
也不能把心情写在脸上，
蝉儿只能故作坚强，强颜欢笑。。。

蝉儿只能继续唱着歌，
只希望自娱娱人，带来欢乐，赶走哀伤;
蚕儿只能继续吐着丝，
只希望发出微薄的贡献，减轻大家的烦恼。。。

或许，
或许。。。
蝉儿总是光鲜亮丽，时而唱着歌，时而发着疯
但其实
蝉儿也有悲哀，伤感，想不开的时候
但，
蝉儿还是只能笑着面对一切生活中的不如意

蝉儿明白生活的不便的定律，
生活就是风雨
生活就是生老病死
生活。。。。。。

蝉儿，
努力了十六载
坚强了5840个昼夜
就继续带着微笑面对生活吧
一切都会ok的 XD
。。。。。。

I AM ALIVE III

came back from taekwando...hoo.....today i thought is not that tough because today no need to run 8 rounds and also no need to run 2.4km...actually,i also dont know how long i had run today,but i thought is ok...hehehhe...
ya,there got something funny today..when our traning finished,a malay old uncle came with his grandchildren,and my miss recognised him to us..he was johan of brisk walk of some competition..and he can speak chinese!wooo...and really very good and we all can understand whatever he spoke..
"yao-yun-dong-cai-hui-shen-ti-jian-kang"
"bu-yao-lan-to"
and many many more...really fanatstic!!!and kept on make us burst out laughing..hahaha
and nothing more to share,so bb...
wanna play games liao..

undeniable depress

i am so so so sad today!! early in the morning,i heard the quarrel among my aunties..and caused i not dare to talk to them..this is not that bad to be a mute,at least better than what is going to be happen later..
in the afternoon,my 1st aunt as i call her mummy was sick!she complained that her heart was painful until she was difficult in breathing.when my 2nd auntie and i kept on persuade her to take some medicines,she refused and asked us just to let her die..omg..this really made me scared and i was trembling like a leaf.i cannot live without her!!no matter how i persuade,she kept on refuse to take medicines as well as see the doctor..then,i really went crazy!!i went to the kitchen and took a knife and just put it on my left hand..i warned her if she still dont want to take medicines,then i will just cut my artery there to commit suicide..and,she ate finally!amithabha~~i cross my fingers to hope that she will be fine soon.i keep on praying and praying!if something bad really happens to her,i promise i will commit suicide also!!she takes care of me since i was a mere baby until now,a big girl.and i must admit that i wasnt a good girl as i always immitate and annoy her,but in my deeply heart i really love her..i rather to sacrifice my academic to let her better and live longer!sincerely!you will find that all money and your performance are not important compared to your family!i really cant live without her you know?sob~sob~ she is really a very good,very nice person..i wont be here,i wont get no1 if without her!she is my mom!she is more noble than that person who gave born to me and leave me..she is my push to keep on study hard!!
and then,the next thing that also make me sad is my ah gong finally move to my dad's house..not we are not filial and ask him out.this is because he done a lot of thing which make my aunties and uncle cant stand anymore..you know sometime a old people cant behave like a child?u can hit and scold a child but you cant do that to your dad and ah gong,can you?so,move to papa's house temporary at least can make my aunties and uncle relax a bit.we just hope so...
so now,i am still feeling sad..very very sad..i cry again and again since just now,until now,i cry..i know i am useless and not strong enough to encounter all this problem..but you wont feel it if you didnt meet it..
what can i do now?i dont know.....just hope that everything will be fine soon

because of boring.....

hai,miss woon yee...how is this one?consider meaningful or not?hahahaha

wina loves jing chan...jing chan loves wina too!muakssss

i thought this one is cake first you know?how stupid am i?omg...

i am graduated from harvard!!!

photos

recently,i am very boring..so i am wearing art nails...as u know,i had no nails because i do bite..hehe ^^ i know that it isn't very nice as my fingers are so so fatty and short which make me feel quite sad actually.i like wina's and yy's hands because their fingers are slender and their nails are weel keeped,not like mine..
before cut my hair,consider a ugly and stupid girl dy...lets see how i change after cut my hair shorter!

teng..

teng..

teng..

teng.........

look even MORE ugly and stupid than ever....omg!

please,dont laugh ~.~
miss wy,satisfy?

kk...after showing a lot of ugly pictures which may cause your eyes pain..

NOW

let me show you something at least nicer...hahahahah XD

these are what i wrote this few days due to donation...i still leave 20 pieces.hooo,a long way to go.but i enjoy it!

try this game

http://www.addictinggames.com/theworldshardestgame.html

STILL ALIVE

I'M STILL ALIVE II

Saturday again...the day i hate most!actually i am not hating the whole day but only morning session because got taekwando~.~ i HATE running.

and today,miss came to teach us!not that cruel sir..but she asked us to run 8rounds of my school field!!!but after thet she gave discount to 6 rounds since we all pleading and crying there..last week 3 rounds drove me insane already,NOW???heheehe,i am not that determine and strong to finish it.so,i bargain for 4 rounds,at least 1 round better than last week.and she said can!HOORAY but still omg..^^ or ~~

what else i can do?run lo.....

and guess what?i really finished my 4 rounds and i was not as tired as last week.i felt ok a bit,no vomitting,no heart pain,but only gasping for oxyen..

next week,i MUST try my best to finish 5 rounds which is 1 round better..pray for me!

ATTENTION!!!latest magazines

HEY!!the latest magazines had published!!!
my brothers' faces are there.
i gotta a rich brother

and a cutey pet brother. ^^

not dare to post my own magazine actually.as you know it,i am always that chicken hearted and nerdy because i had no confidence with my look.hehehe. XD but after that,in order to be fair to my brothers(as i betrayed them,post their faces without permissions).i really gain a whole lot of courage to post it...hope you dont laugh.
teng,teng,teng,teng..........

AVAILABLE in all bookshop and book store..go and buy it NOW..

hahahahahaha.....being crazy after exam

no 1

i finally get my end of year result!!!
guess what??
i top my class,getting no 1 !!
i felt damn exhilarated...the feeling is undeniable!
omg...i had suffocated and suffered for so long long time,and now i finally get my result!
so,i really really feel happy! XD
what else can say beside happy?? =.="
so,HAPPY LOL ^^

we are toooooo BORING

nice ma?nice ma?these are what two little boring and childish girl did yeaterday night by using doodles in rocketmail..we thought this is very funny.hahaha XD

vote!vote!

which one is nicer?is mine one or woon yee one?MUST leave your comments in my c'box yea!!

chan,cong,rong

THREE OF US,PRODUCTS OF TAY FAMILY,LIVING IN HARMONY

this is jie jie,16

this is ko ko(so tall,so i call him ko ko),14

this is little cute di di,13

relatives from china

hoooo~~~i finally get back my card reader from my brother and can upload some photo.

last week,my relatives came from china and singapore.they kept on praising me on the achievement of my calligraphy and made me felt very happy ^^

here is some pictures:

brother and sisters

my aunties and their aunties

my uncle and his aunties and uncle
and.....finally,my brother and i also took photo with them...here we are:

this is my first time to meet them.and this is also their first time to meet all of us.i like them very very much because they are very friendly.i sincerely hope that they will come again.^^

nice nice layout

just finish changing the layout,very pek cek coz everything gone!and i have to do it again..but feeling very happy when see the products ^^
hope everybody like it!haha XD

sth about me lo

T H E S E L F
[01] Name: Tay Jing Chan
[02] Nickname: Chan
[03] Married: of course NO
[04] Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
[05] Gender: girl
[06] Age: 16
[07] High School: SMK Dato Sri Amar Diraja,Muar
[08] College: Haven't
[09] Height: 155 ba
[10] Weight: i wont tell you
[11] Do you like yourself: YES!
[12] Piercings: no.
[13] Right or left: -
[14] Are you a freak : drama freak
[15] Hair: bob
[16] Skin: fair
[17] Allergic: Seafood & birdnest.my throat will feeling itchy and painful
[18] What are you doing now: Filling this survey and chatting with wina
[19] What will you do 1 hour later: do homework and listen to my mp3
[20] What will you do 10 years later: Be a strict teacher? maybe

T H E F A M I L Y
[21] Live with : 3 aunties,uncle,a gong and didi
[22] Siblings(included you): 3
[23] Eldest: Me XD
[24] Youngest: Brother
[25] Love/hate your family: Supreme love and NEVER hate..

T H E L O V E
[26] You found your another half: not yet.
[27] If yes, who is he/she: -
[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: ethan ruan
[29] Time(s) you in relationship: NEVER
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): not dare to woo
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): a prank
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: always
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: i love other star
[34] Ever argue with your other half: i hvn meet him so how to argue?
[35] You with your other half since: fated to love you started
[36] Are you straight/Lesbo: ha?
[37] Reasons you love your other half: he is handsome and good in acting
[38] You and your other half in which stage: star and fans
[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: if he woo me,i will be damn exhilarated!but impossible~~

T H E F R I E N D S
[41] Your first best friend: swj(once bcum enemy and now bcum stranger)
[42] Your first enemy: olw(now bcum good fren)
[43] The friend you love the most: thc,elain lee.
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1 only): lsy
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: yy.
[46] Your most handsome guy friend: nobody
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: fake girl who like to pretending
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: sissy and hao-lien
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: nope.
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: Nope.
[51] If your friend backstabbing you: I'll hate them forever.
[52] If your friend betray you: I'll hate them forever.
[53] If your friend woo your lover : my frens will never agree my taste.
[54] If your friend fall in love with you: love him lo.
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: i am definitely not a lesbian!.

T H E S T U D I E S
[56] Are you a good student: i think so.heehee
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: depends
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: teacher:pn asfahani(she is vry kind),mr sim(bcz he is vry good in add math)
[59] Always late to school/college: NEVER
[60] Your class: 4 Bestari..with 1/4 of chinese
[61] You love your seniors: Yes.
[62] Senior who you like the most: all
[63] Your classmates good/bad: Half half.
[64] Excellent result classmate: me?sy?aminul?
[65] Laziest classmate: malays

T H E P E O P L E
[66] Smart people : me
[67] Stupid people : me
[68] Good looking people: yy
[69] Ugly people: me
[70] Funny people: elain lee
[71] Cute people: yu bao
[72] Bad people: ppl who bully me
[73] Honest people: Woon Yee
[74] Acting people: erm...actor
[75] You are what kind of people: look solemn and hao lien but actually a funny and crazy person
T H E P R E F E R
[76] Lip or eyes: Both.
[77] Hugs or kisses: both
[78] Shorter or taller: of coz taller!i am so short
[79] Hesitant or spontaneous: Spontaneous
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: both.
[81] Listener or talker: listener.
[82] Romantic or rich: both
[83] Good Mother or Good Wife: good sister.

T H E F U T U R E
[84] Age to get marry: before 30.
[85] Numbers of kid(s): 2++(1 girl 1 boy)
[86] Career: teacher
[87] Salary: the more the better
[88] Retirement age: depends
[89] Properties value: ??
[90] Wishes: earn a LV and many many money and still live with my dear family

thank to my legs

after 2 days strolling with friends and being torturing by the taekwando sir,now my legs are terribly painful and half paralysed!!

yesterday,bought book with woon yee from tanjung mas to popular then to city star.quite a new experience because i had never buy books with friends.and i had never walk such a long distance!it makes me quite excited,haha XD we bought a lot of exercise books and planned to buy the twilight series but unfortunately we had no money!!the books are damn pricey!RM50 leh!we pondered there whether it is worthy to buy..and finally,we decided not to buy it.=.=

today,i took part in calligraphy competition.amithabha.i get no1,haha...but only RM30 with a small trophy.sigh...i want many many money!!while waiting for the results,yu bao and i went strolling to popular and fresco from chung hua 1 just to buy 1 piece of pancake.we waited for so long so long but the irresponsible taoke didnt chap us also.walao A.so unpolite. =.=" and caused us had to walk walk walk to fresco there to buy pancake.

"thank to my dear legs,you are very pity to be my legs",stared at my legs with deep sigh...

guilin,i am coming

cant wait anymore to tell you all the good news!!!

this holiday.....i can go guilin,china!!happy-ing

a very beautiful place

CHEERS~~~i'm still ALIVE

omg.oh my god!oh my goodness!!OH MY GOODNESS!!!

I'M STILL ALIVE

just came back from the torturing taekwando lesson.nearly paralysed!i had run the dato padang for 3 rounds!and do a lot of stretching,sparring.omg,all this activities are nearly kill me!REALLY!i must admit that i am an idiot in sports.from track and field sports to balls and the list goes on.i am very easy to pant and i am not determine enough.as my friends can run 2.4km in 14min17,i failed to do so.dont bother about the time,i cant finish 2.4km also.

today.....a cruel sir came!a sir with good looking in appearance but not good looking in his heart!he asked us to run round the field for 3 rounds(amithabha,last time he had asked my frens to run 4 rounds).if you think that this is nothing,please teach me how to run because after i finished,my face turned as pale as sheet.my hearbeat was damn fast and my heart was very very painful,nearly sent me into state of shock!i really felt that i was at the edge of death and i kept on warning myself that i cannot die!very scared and felt helpless at that moment!amithabha again..after a while i vomit..yuck!so disgusting and embarrassing,i wanna dig a hole to jump in XC

if you think that the torturing traning had finished,then you are WRONG!!!

this is just beginning.after rest for two minutes,we got to do kicking,pumping,and.....many many activities that make me dying!!!all this suffering activities have to be carry out 3 times!! 3x torturing!a deep deep sigh.haiz~~

finally.........

this hellacious activities had came to an end.omg,really make me paralysing.i think my limb can pain for 2 days..but i used to it already..

p/s:dont simply join taekwando because it really drives you crazy as the lessons are full of a lot of unexpected surprises!and all the surprises are depend on our sir and miss mood and creativity..haha

keep all my sadness,ready to go shopping with my "dear wy" ^^

where to shop??ans:bookshop

i warn you,dont laugh XD

we are always that conscientious...

n bye

enjoy life

so happy!!!exam had pass and i can do many relax things!playing computer for more than 5 hours,reading novel,watching television and the BEST thing is of course NO NEED STUDY ANYMORE!
i sign up for rocketmail today.it is really amazing and fantastic!it can put a lot of cute cute animations and can even play lots of game with friends online.so nice and make me laugh a lot!!hahahahaha..
without exam is really good!
(my brother who is beside me keeps on giving out comments that i am purposely post this for him because he havent finish his exam..haha.serve right to him!i m free now!lalalala...)