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Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Crap.


I am in really bad mood recently.
I feel so lost.

We were told that we were going to be posted before school reopen at first. 
Delayed.

And our beloved minister gave us hope, saying that we can carry our bag and start teaching on 18th. 
But now there is rumor telling us it is impossible.
Let's see what might happen then?
I am still believing you, perhaps?

In between, minister told us that we could report ourselves for duty on 7th. 
Failed.

Then another date given, 11th, to check our name. 
We had been waiting in front of the computer for one whole day, 
refresh and refresh and refresh the egraduan website, 
hopefully something popped out, 
no matter good or bad. 
Failed,
for another time.

And today, he told us the list would come out today.
I guess you know what happened at last, huh.

Is it really that hard to arrange the name list?
Why are you keep postponing us?
If we graduate like the seniors, in November, I won't mind waiting. It is only January now what!
But we were forced to graduate much earlier that we supposed to be. September.
It wasn't really difficult to finish one action research, three assignments, four papers in two months, I guess.
It really wasn't tough.
It was an easy task.
You supposed.
Well, so what? We had done it.
But what we lost was the time we get together with our friends.
That was the precious thing, 
that we cared and we needed.
We thought we could be posted sooner than any batches of seniors.
We are wrong.
We had interview in December, even later than them?

We graduated earlier to replace the shortage.
But what I know is we didn't really help much.
First, most of we only taught 4 periods per week.
Second, most of us picked the school we prefer, which may not occur the shortage.
So does it really help?

If we really helped you, why don't you help us back?
We need the work and we need the paid.
We need that secure feeling.

If you couldn't make a decision or know the answer,
don't ever simply promise to someone.
You raised our hope,
and you ruined it yourself.
You made us happy, 
and you made us sadder today.
I should not blame you? You might have your own difficulties in dealing this?
I don't know.
What I know is I really want to be a real teacher soon.
I know I might have tonnes of work once I started,
I know I should enjoy this holidays fully,
but I don't care.
I really hope to work soon, to spend my time beneficially.
For the first time I hope my holidays end faster and time to work comes sooner!!
Pray hard.
x

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