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Thursday, June 14, 2018

Before I Go To Sleep


I started reading English novels since secondary school
because I always want to improve my English.
Not a fast reader, but I used to read.
More often than now I would say.
Since I started working and taking my master, I'm no longer reading novels.
Too busy and also too lazy for it. = (

I am really happy that I'm back on track this holidays.
I read.
An old novel that I bought several years ago, using my book vouchers.
BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP by S.J.Watson.

I bought this book because the synopsis behind is kinda attractive.
And it is rated 4/5 in Goodreads.
Ya, I did check on Goodreads rating before I decided to buy a book. lol
BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP by S. J. Watson
Worth reading: ★★☆ (9/10)
Reason: Big twist at last. Thrilling, unexpected. Story flows smooth.

So this book is about a middle-aged, married lady, Christine who would lose her memories every single time she woke up from sleep. She would forget her identity, her past, her love one.
This book is separated into three main parts.
The first part is about a new day that Christine woke up from bed and realised that she was in bed with a stranger who claimed to be her husband, Ben.
She was shocked that she had get marriage and found that she had turned much older.
She was surprised seeing her wrinkled skin.
Her doctor, Dr. Nash called her.
Only then she realised that she actually seeking help from a doctor and this was all without her husband's knowing.
Dr. Nash returned her the journal.
She read and discovered more and more about herself.

The second part of the novel is in journal (diaries) form.
Every journal bits and bits uncovered all the truth that Christine had forgotten.
She jotted down every happenings on each day before she went to bed
and Dr Nash would call her everyday to remind her about the journal book so that she would read it and recall back everything that she had forgotten.
She would like to know more about her wedding and her past.
Ben told her all the photos and details had lost in a fire.
Ben cheated her that they did not have any children.
Somehow, she discovered that they actually had a child, Adam.
Ben told her he was dead in the war in Afghanistan.
She was also told that she suffered in amnesia due to a car accident.
But she remembered the scene that she was attacked in a hotel room.
She slowly remembered her best friend, Claire.
But Ben told her Claire had moved to New Zealand.
She found out Claire never leave London through the help of Dr. Nash.
Claire told her that she was seeing Ben after her accident.
Claire told her Ben had already divorced with her.

I was so curious when I read all these journals.
At first, I wondered if Ben accidentally knocked Christine down in the car accident.
That's why he refused all the medical treatment offered by doctors.
He felt scared that she may recover from amnesia and would not forgive him.
Then, I doubted the reason Ben divorced with Christine.
Perhaps he was really having affair with Claire and had a new family outside.
That's why he told Christine that she had lost contact with Claire long ago.
He was afraid that Christine found out the shameful yet cruel truth.
And at last, I was quite touched by the reason Ben only told Christine half of the story.
I remembered the letter written by Ben explaining the reason they were divorced.
It was because he loved her too much. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted Adam to be happy.
I nearly shed tears reading that letter I tell you!
I thought maybe it was because he loved her too much and hoped that she just forgot the unhappy past and led a simply happy life afterwards.
At that moment, I have no doubt about Ben anymore. I trusted him.
For all the things he had done and the reason he gave.

But there is part 3 in the novel.
This part 3 is such a biiiiiggggggg twist I would say!!!!!
I could hardly stop myself from continue reading it.
The story line just get me so nervous
especially when the truths uncovered one by one.

Claire told Christine that Adam is not dead.
He is still alive.
Huh? Why Ben cursed his own son?
And there wasn't any fire that ruined all the photos.
Why Ben such a big liar?

I went cold. Really.
Too scary.
And finally I was told that...
Ben is not Ben!
Holy. Can you believe it?
Gosh.
Ben is not Ben.
He is Mike!
He is the guy who attacked Christine and turned her into amnesia.
No way. OMG
She is staying with the person who was trying to kill her years ago.
My goose bumps. Shit.
This is too drama, too drama.
And yes, she met with her real husband Ben at last.
She remembered him!!! (Happy ending)

I just cant stop reading.
And when I finished reading, I realized it was already 1.50AM. WTH.
I could not believe I was so into it.
You might not know what I was typing throughout this post,
it is too complicated for me to type the whole things out,
to make it clear here using my broken English.
But what I'm trying to tell is that,,,
it is such a good read!!!!!!!
The way the story flows is superb!

On the way reading this book, 
I kept thinking that what if there was one day, when I woke up,
I had lost my memories.
It would be really pathetic.

But after finished the whole book,
what I can conclude is that,
there is love which allows people to let go of the lovers,
let go of somebody who is not belonged to you,
only want that person to be happy.
Ben is the one who tried to let go of Christine because he wanted her to be happy and free.

There is another type of love,
a selfish love, 
which one must get the person he loves to be with him together,
without care about the feelings of the other,
like what happened to Mike.

All in all,
this book is really a good read that I would highly recommend.
I hope I could read more before my holidays come to the end.

With love,
xoxo

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